you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
