i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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