I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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