peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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