If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
