I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
