HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
