I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
