Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
