just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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