No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
