Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
