i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
