Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
