im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
