Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
