Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
only you would photoshop your dick
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
