Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize