barbara walters just said penis...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
