I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
