did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
