So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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