I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
