if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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