I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize