All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
