I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
