I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
