Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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