I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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