Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
