This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize