hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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