Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
