Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
