and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
