he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize