Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
