i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
