If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
