And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
