we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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