found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
