So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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