Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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