in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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