wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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