well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
