Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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