Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
