Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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