I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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