I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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