We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
