I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
