i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
