Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
