she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
