Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
