We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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