If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
