Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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