I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate all girls vehemently.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
