I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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