another moral hangover. fuck.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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