i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Randomize
