Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
